Journal

Lame is the new cool; believe it! The dictionary's definition of the word "lame" is 'to make a person or an animal unable to walk properly', and the world "cool" is defined as 'a temperature that is comfortably cold'.

The formality aside, the new-and-improved 21st century teenagers' revised dictionary defines "lame" as 'appalingly, irritably, immensely unfunny' while "cool" is defined as 'extremely crude, vulgar and insensitive; but I love it!'

Yes, try it! Tell a joke to any teenager; you will get three possible responses: "lame", "cool"; or he will simply stare at you with eyes and mouth half open, back hunched a little and arms hanging lazily at his sides, the new sign language for, "Go shoot yourself and spare the world of some lameness, if your intelligence allows you to do so"

It is true, as crazy as it sounds. I was telling this joke to a class once, "What did the cow say to her daughter?" I paused, waiting for them to give a wild guess. Then one of them pipped in, " 'Moo'? "

This sent the class into a full minute of self-slapping, uncontrollable laughter. "Incorrect," I said when the class has finally calmed down, "The cow said, 'Have more milk - You'll need it!' "

They looked at me, waiting for the punchline. The problem was that I have already said it.

Now I had better wrap up this writing and go into hiding before the class finds me and sets me on fire, or give me the "shoot yourself" look; whichever kills me faster.